Reading the title, you might be forgiven for thinking I'm running out of ideas. But you would be sadly mistaken. Garry Potter is the literal Russian translation of Harry Potter, and gamsters? Well, that's just a joke at Tom's expense. You see, on Monday, Natasha (the culture teacher with whom I have a love-hate relationship) decided that we would play a little game. We each had to write three facts about ourselves, and then she would read them out and we would guess whose they were. It should have been easy, as there were only three of us in the class, but Tom was determined to make it difficult by denying all of his facts. That is, until we got to the third one. Natasha stared at the piece of paper incredulously and exclaimed "что такой гамстер?" - literally "What the hell is a gamster??". As Tom has spent most of one of our previous lessons trying to convince Helen that her Russian name was 'Gelen', it was fairly obvious (not to mention hilarious) that he had made the same mistake in translating 'hamster'. He will never live it down, not if we have anything to do with it anyway.
There were a few more translation faux-pas during our trip to the Ethnographical Museum on Wednesday, in which I was confused by a cabinet with a double key (i.e. two lots of numbers one to ten in the same cabinet!) and tried to tell Tom that a fishing rod was a ski pole (as it was about the length of my upper arm, I probably should have known better!) and that knitting needles were an ermine trap. Perhaps I'll reconsider that career as a tour guide then.... Among the highlights of the Ethnographical Museum were some terrifying masks, hundreds of wedding displays, and a raincoat made out of an unknown substance which I thought to be bladder but, upon consultation with the dictionary, turned out to be intestines! So Tom and I were walking around all day with 'intestines' written on our hands. Fabulous!
Also this week, as the new Harry Potter film was coming out, we decided to go and see it, in Russian of course. However, this meant dealing with Russian cinemas, and as usual, the obstacles were many. Firstly, we had to get to the cinema. It is located on the fourth floor of the mall in Sennaya Ploschad, and as the escalators there are confusing to say the least, we decided to take the lift. We got in, and (having been told it was on the top floor, I pushed the button for the fifth floor). This was incorrect, but for once it was a good mistake, as the lift which we were travelling in only went between the first and fifth floors (not that it tells you this on any of the other floors, so you look like a right idiot waiting for a lift that never shows up...). However, when we got out on the fifth flood, we had to cross a glass floor and go down some glass steps. For someone as deathly afraid of heights (or at least of walking on seemingly unsecured platforms at any height) as me, this was no mean feat. It was not helped by Tom deciding to see what would happen if he jumped.
Safely on the correct floor, we checked the screen, which informed us that Garry Potter 7 would be showing from Thursday onwards. We went to the Касса, and asked if we could pre-book tickets for Thursday. "Tomorrow," was the reply. The next day we returned. This time we were confronted will simply a sullen shake of the head. (Someone really has to teach the Russians the value of customer service). That night we searched on the Internet, which took us to the crux of the problem - there were no showings on Thursday. Why the cinema staff couldn't have told us that, I have no idea, but we had by now given up on the idea of buying tickets in advance. So on Friday, after lessons (in which Natasha taught us about 'holiday tables'. Yes, 'holiday tables'. Basically a normal table, which takes on magical powers in holiday season. When Tom asked what was on the holiday table, he received the reply: "What ISN'T on the holiday table?" Glad we cleared that one up then...) we returned to the cinema. No seats for the 4.30 showing. One seat for the 5.30 showing (well, we've asked for three tickets, so I don't think we want that one...). Two rows of seats for the 6.15 showing. Excellent, we'll take them all! Or just the three tickets we asked for in the first place (never use sarcasm in a foreign country, it can end up costing you!).
To kill time before the film, we went to the SPB (a chain of very cheap, very studenty bars) in Sennaya Ploschad, and attempted to drink our own body weight in strawberry beer (the waitress helped in this endeavour by giving me two beers when I'd ordered one, but never mind). Perhaps unwise, given that we were about to try and watch a film in Russian (not to mention sit down for two and a half hours with limited access to a toilet). In my slightly inebriated state, I ended up climbing over the front row rather than walking along the aisle, and then trying to leave through the wrong exit. Not that it mattered anyway, as the entire cinema was clearly game for a laugh, so much so that they giggled throughout the entire middle portion of the film, culminating in an outburst of hysterics and applause at the line "I open at the close." Perhaps there's some hidden innuendo in the Russian version. Perhaps the entire cinema was playing some drinking game that we weren't aware of. Perhaps they were just all stark raving mad. Who can say?
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